question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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