sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
