Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
