There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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