You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well I just put wine in my tea
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
