A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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