im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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