We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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