he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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