I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
