Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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