please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
a search helicopter?!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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