Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
