yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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