so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
