Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
