super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
