just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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