My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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