he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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