Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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