The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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