I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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