I'm jealous of your bromance
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
