I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
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Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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