I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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