you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize