he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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