oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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