I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
