the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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