I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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