proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize