And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
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St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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