The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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