Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
