she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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