So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
