I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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