Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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