We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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