Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
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I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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