I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
false alarm. still invincible.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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