she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
