Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
