Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
