was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need to align my fucking chakras
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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