RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
