I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
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getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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