I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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