Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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