Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My feet surprised me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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