i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
